My Dad is disappearing

I have been through a lot in my life. I was once in an abusive marriage..like the real kind. The kind with back damage and bruises. I was a single mom of 2 very young children for 5 years while going to school full time. I have seen pain is my point.

Nothing, and I mean nothing compares to losing my dad a tiny bit each day. My mom and him are the reasons that I have sailed relatively easy through my bumps in life. They have always loved me, always supported me, always let me cry on their shoulders.

Some days, my dad is just as always. He is the smartest person I have ever met personally. He is an engineer, and artist, a philosopher, a politician.

Some days, my dad wears a face that I have only seen in pictures of his youth. A tiny bit unsure, a tiny bit curious.

Some days, my dad is so frustrated and scared. He doesn't remember things. He gets frustrated with my and calls me my mom's name.

I had hoped to write an eloquent little essay about it. I am going to fail. There is nothing eloquent about it.

Things are going to get harder and harder as the years go by. From what I read there won't be too many - evidently the Early type is more aggressive than good old fashioned regular Alzheimer's. So things are going to get harder and harder and harder and then supposedly relief will come. That is what a few people have told me. My question is how is not having my dad, one of two people that have loved me under any circumstance in the world, the best man I have ever known, a relief in any way?